I hate u I love u

Feeling used
But I'm still missing you
And I can't
See the end of this
Just wanna feel your kiss
Against my lips

And now all this time
Is passing by
But I still can't seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to, but I can't put
Nobody else above you

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

I miss you when I can't sleep
Or right after coffee
Or right when I can't eat
I miss you in my front seat
Still got sand in my sweaters
From nights we don't remember

Do you miss me like I miss you?
Fucked around and got attached to you
Friends can break your heart too
And I'm always tired but never of you

If I pulled you on you, you wouldn't like that shit
I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that shit
I type a text but then I never mind that shit
I got these feelings but you never mind that shit

Oh oh, keep it on the low
You're still in love with me
But your friends don't know
If you wanted me you would just say so
And if I were you, I would never let me go

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to, but I can't put
Nobody else above you

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

I don't mean no harm
I just miss you on my arm
Wedding bells were just alarms
Caution tape around my heart

You ever wonder what we could've been?
You said you wouldn't and you fucking did
Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix
Now all my drinks and all my feelings
Are all fucking mixed

Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing
Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just create some distance
I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing
But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings
When love and trust are gone
I guess this is moving on
Everyone I do right does me wrong
So every lonely night, I sing this song

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to, but I can't put
Nobody else above you

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

All alone I watch you watch her
Like she's the only girl you've ever seen
You don't care, you never did
You don't give a damn about me
Yeah, all alone I watch you watch her
She's the only thing you've ever seen
How is it you never notice
That you are slowly killing me?

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to, but I can't put
Nobody else above you

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

Limerencia

Estoy bien, muy bien, al verte solo siento el flechazo de lo que casi fue, por que casi lo tiramos todo por tenerlo todo, esa aventura de expresar ser quienes somos en pleno siglo 21, suena loco, pero suele ser más fácil perdernos en los pueblos chicos que en ciudades grandes, y hablo de perder la esencia, en esta, según yo, mal llamada ciudad somos todos el familiar o amigo de alguien, y tu vida es de debate público, siento que vivimos en la novela de Jane Austen “orgullo y prejuicio” a principio del siglo 19, donde importa más las apariencias y posición que la felicidad integral, estamos todos buscando ser felices, más por casualidad que por causalidad, y nos perdemos mucho, nos perdimos, te perdí; a pesar del intenso dolor, valió la pena hasta el ultimo segundo, las heridas me hicieron sabio, y las cicatrices dejan por escrito lo aprendido, para no repetir errores, para nunca olvidarte, por que nunca lo hice, quedaste “stuck in my head” día tras día el recuerdo de una lección que aprendí y de la cual sigo aprendiendo, tal vez podíamos haber sido uno, pero ahora nunca podre ser menos de dos, toda la vida una parte mía se ira contigo y por siempre tu recuerdo vendrá conmigo, aunque cambiemos tanto que al cruzarnos seamos como extraños, aunque corramos la mirada y no reconozcamos ni el sonido de nuestra voz, siempre te llevare conmigo y lanzare al cielo mis deseos de que encuentres aquello que andabas buscando, y seas inmensamente feliz con ello, tanto que olvides un día haber sufrido.